Author: L Llanos

Liliam Llanos is a Trauma Resolution Coach and Trainer committed to bringing together mindfulness techniques and brain research-based tools to show her clients how to overcome trauma, increase their self-esteem, and create greater balance, growth and a meaningful life. Liliam also brings awareness and integration of science-based strategies to counselors, coaches, and holistic practitioners. She is fluent in both English and Spanish.
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Empathy or Compassion? What To Do When You Feel “Too Much.”

Do you ever think that you feel “too much” or you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders?

If you are in the human service work you are likely to be naturally empathic. In fact, you have chosen that line of work as you seek meaning and purpose by helping others. You’ve probably felt overwhelmed as you find yourself stepping into another people’s shoes experiencing their physical or emotional pain even before they dare to express their feelings. In NeuroCoaching, this is called, “Empathic Distress.”

If you identify yourself as an empath, an effective way to avoid getting lost and distressed in the emotional experience of your loved ones or clients is by setting healthy emotional boundaries, and developing emotional awareness. “Moving from feeling with to observing, openly, engaged, with a curious listening stance with good boundaries can make challenging interpersonal work not only more rewarding but it can also increase feelings of efficacy to prevent feeling chronic stress and burnout.”

Keep in mind that you can serve another person to the best of your abilities when your compassion propels you to take action and give the assistance or support needed. Overwhelm and burnout, on the other hand, may lead you to suppressing or avoiding, not only the negative emotions but all emotions, decreasing your willingness to serve.

As Olga Klimecky states on her article, “The Plasticity of Social Emotions,” Neuroimaging findings, complemented by results from behavioral studies, show that compassion is linked to helping and forgiveness behavior, whereas empathic distress not only decreases helping behavior, but is even associated with increased aggressive behavior.

Within the next weeks, I will be sharing science-based strategies that you can implement in your daily life to help you increase self-awareness, self-compassion, and compassion towards others so you can stay emotionally balanced and thrive, as you navigate the world with its unavoidable pain and chaos. Are you interested in this series? If you’re not receiving the newsletter in your inbox, subscribe here!

“Empathy is our general capacity to resonate with other’s emotional states, whether it is positive or negative. Compassion is the feeling of warmth and concern for another person’s suffering which is accompanied by the motivation to help (Singer, Klimecky.)”

Source:

T1 – Professional Distress and Meaning in Health Care: Why Professional Empathy Can Help
VL – 54
DO – 10.1080/00981389.2015.1046575
JO – Social work in health care
ER –

Empathy and compassion

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“It is not in the human heart to put ourselves in the place of those who are happier than ourselves, but only in the place of those who are most to be pitied.” ~Emile Rousseau 🌹 ▪️ 🔻 ▪️ Did you know that humans are wired to share the distress of others but react less to the joy of others? Brain imaging demonstrates that the brain reacts far more to distress and sadness of others than to their joy. #innergymaster . . . . . . As NeuroCoach, I teach mindfulness and other brain-based tools to help healers and health practitioners to develop a healthy empathic attunement so they can enhance the client’s healing process while reducing the practitioner’s risk of distress and burnout. Message me to hear about these tips! . #neuroscience #neurociencia #empathy #avoidburnout #empath #healthyempathicattunement #compassion #meditation #mindfulness #empathic #empoweredwomen #healer #brainpower #brain #innergymaster #coachlilian #successcoach #leadership #womenonamission #ursoulpurpose

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To a mindful life,

Liliam

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Reasons to Add a Loving-Kindness Meditation into Your Daily Routine?

After a lifetime of trial and error, I’ve finally figured out the best way to overcome the bumpy ride life can be: “living in the moment” as much as I can. I know it’s easier said than done but it is so worth it and effective. For that reason, I’ve adopted a new motto in my life and business:

“Embrace a mindful living because there’s no better time and place to be than now and here.”

I’ve also found one of the most beautiful forms of meditation rooted in a Buddhist practice, a Loving-Kindness meditation. I’m sharing  below the article, “18 science-based Reasons to Try a Loving-Kindness Meditation Today,” written by Emma Seppala, Ph.D, Science Director at Stanford Center For Compassion And Altruism Research And Education and  Co-Director Wellness at Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

What is Loving-Kindness Meditation?

The Loving-Kindness meditation focuses on developing feelings of goodwill, kindness and warmth towards others (Salzberg, 1997). As I’ve described in my TEDx talk, compassion, kindness and empathy are very basic emotions to us. Research shows that Loving Kindness Meditation has a tremendous amount of benefits ranging from benefiting well-being, to giving relief from illness and improving emotional intelligence:

WELL-BEING

1. Increases Positive Emotions & Decreases Negative Emotions

In a landmark study, Barbara Frederickson and her colleagues ( Fredrickson, Cohn, Coffey, Pek, & Finkel, 2008) found that practicing 7 weeks of loving-kindness meditation increased love, joy, contentment, gratitude, pride, hope, interest, amusement, and awe. These positive emotions then produced increases in a wide range of personal resources (e.g., increased mindfulness, purpose in life, social support, decreased illness symptoms), which, in turn, predicted increased life satisfaction and reduced depressive symptoms.

2. Increases vagal tone which increases positive emotions & feelings of social connection

A study by Kok et al (2013)found that individuals in a Loving Kindness Meditation intervention, compared to a control group, had increases in positive emotions, an effect moderated by baseline vagal tone – a physiological marker of well-being.

HEALING

We don’t usually think of meditation as being able to help us with severe physical or mental ailments, but research shows it can help:

3. Decreases Migraines:
A recent study by Tonelli et al (2014) demonstrated the immediate effects of a brief Loving Kindness Meditation intervention in reducing migraine pain and alleviating emotional tension associated with chronic migraines.

4. Decreases Chronic Pain
A pilot study of patients with chronic low back pain randomized to Loving Kindness Meditation or standard care, Loving Kindness Meditation was associated with greater decreases in pain, anger, and psychological distress than the control group ( Carson et al., 2005).

5. Decreases PTSD

A study by Kearney et al (2013) found that a 12 week Loving Kindness Meditation course significantly reduced depression and PTSD symptoms among veterans diagnosed with PTSD.

6. Decreases Schizophrenia-Spectrum Disorders

Also, a pilot study by Johnson et al. (2011) examined the effects of Loving Kindness Meditation with individuals with schizophrenia-spectrum disorders. Findings indicated that Loving Kindness Meditation was associated with decreased negative symptoms and increased positive emotions and psychological recovery.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN THE BRAIN

We know that the brain is shaped by our activities. Regularly practicing loving-kindness meditation activates and strengthens areas of the brain responsible for empathy & emotional intelligence

7. Activates empathy & emotional processing in the brain

We showed this link in our research (Hutcherson, Seppala & Gross, 2014) and so have our colleagues (Hoffmann, Grossman & Hinton, 2011)

8. Increases gray matter volume
in areas of the brain related to emotion regulation: Leung et al (2013); Lutz et al (2008); Lee et al (2012)

THE STRESS RESPONSE

Loving Kindness Meditation also benefits your psychophysiology & makes it more resilient

9. Increases respiratory Sinus Arrythmia (RSA)

Just 10 minutes of loving-kindness meditation has an immediate relaxing effect as evidenced by increased respiratory sinus arrhythmia (RSA), an index of parasympathetic cardiac control (i.e. your ability to enter a relaxing and restorative state), and slowed (i.e. more relaxed) respiration rate (Law, 2011 reference)

10. Slows Aging

We know that stress decreases telomere length (telomeres are tiny bits of your genetic materials – chromosomes – that are a biological marker of aging). However, Hoge et al (2013) found that women with experience in Loving Kindness Meditation had relatively longer telomere length compared to age-matched controls! Throw out the expensive anti-aging creams and get on your meditation cushion!

SOCIAL CONNECTION

11. Makes you a more helpful person

Loving Kindness Meditation appears to enhance positive interpersonal attitudes as well as emotions. For instance, Leiberg, Klimecki and Singer (2011) conducted a study that examined the effects of Loving Kindness Meditation on pro-social behavior, and found that compared to a memory control group, the Loving Kindness Meditation group showed increased helping behavior in a game context.

12. Increases Compassion

A recent review of mindfulness-based interventions (MBIs) concludes that Loving Kindness Meditation may be the most effective practice for increasing compassion (Boellinghaus, Jones & Hutton, 2012)

13. Increases Empathy

Similarly, Klimecki, Leiberg, Lamm and Singer (2013) found that Loving Kindness Meditation training increased participants’ empathic responses to the distress of others, but also increased positive affective experiences, even in response to witnessing others in distress.

14. Decreases Your Bias towards others

A recent study (Kang, Gray & Dovido, 2014) found that compared to a closely matched active control condition, 6 weeks of Loving Kindness Meditation training decreased implicit bias against minorities.


15. Increases Social Connection

A study by Kok et al (2013) found that those participants in Loving Kindness Meditation interventions who report experiencing more positive emotions also reported more gains in perception of social connection as well.

SELF-LOVE

How many of us are slaves to self-criticism or low self-esteem? How many of us do not take as good care as we should of ourselves?

16. Curbs Self-Criticism:
A study by Shahar et al (2014) found that Loving Kindness Meditation was effective for self-critical individuals in reducing self-criticism and depressive symptoms, and improving self-compassion and positive emotions. These changes were maintained 3 months post-intervention

IMMEDIATE & LONG-TERM IMPACT

The nice thing about Loving Kindness Meditation is that it is effective in both immediate and small doses (i.e. instant gratification) but that it also has long-lasting and enduring effects.

17. Is Effective Even in Small Doses

Our study – Hutcherson, Seppala and Gross (2008) – found an effect of a small dose of Loving Kindness Meditation (practiced in a single short session lasting less than 10 minutes). Compared with a closely matched control task, even just a few minutes of loving-kindness meditation increased feelings of social connection and positivity toward strangers.

18. Has Long-Term Impact.

A study by Cohn et al (2011) found that 35% of participants of a Loving Kindness Meditation intervention who continued to meditate and experience enhanced positive emotions 15 months after the intervention. Positive emotions correlated positively with the number of minutes spent meditating daily.

Want to give loving-kindness meditation a try? If you haven’t downloaded the audio I’ve created, you can go here so you can start reaping the benefits of this practice now!

Let me know what you think in our Facebook, Mindful Minute Message!

 

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The Power of a Morning Routine

A powerful morning routine is one that nurtures the body, mind, and spirit. I called mine, “A Mindful Morning.” As you know, I’m on a mission, bringing together the spiritual practices I’ve studied and implemented for years with principles of neuroscience that I’m researching right now.

Many experts, successful entrepreneurs, and business owners agree on the subject and advocate the benefits of a solid morning routine. To tell you the truth, last year, after all the challenging experiences I went through recovering from third-degree burns, dealing with a divorce, and other family challenges, I totally fell off the wagon.

But you know what they say, it’s not about the fall but about the rise. So encouraged by one of my mentors, I’ve set the goal to commit to a daily morning routine. Although, I know the facts, seeing the results first hand has been a game changer. I am more focused, my energy levels are more consistent throughout the day and I am more productive. Al of this has allowed me to shorten my work days considerably as well.

For that reason, I want to invite you to establish or go back to following a morning routine. I’m sharing mine but, please, design one that resonates with you and fits your particular needs.

At a glance, my morning routine includes:

  • Mindfulness (being in the present moment, experiencing what is without judgment)
  • Movement
  • Journaling/goal-setting
  • Mindful Eating.

The order and length of time may change from day to day depending on my choice for movement. The days I don’t go to a hot yoga class (a 90-minute class,) I simply do mindful movement at home for 10 to 15 minutes. This usually happens on the days my son is at home and I need to help him get ready for school. On these days, I only dedicate 20 to 30 minutes to my morning routine because that’s as much as I can fit in.

For gratitude journaling and goal setting, I have a neat template my mentor kindly shared with me and I’d be happy to forward to you (with his permission) if you’d like to integrate it in your morning routine. Research studies in the field of Positive Psychology suggest that we would benefit from focusing our attention on our little achievements rather than focusing on what we didn’t accomplish. Reflecting on people and things that we’re grateful for improves mood, well-being, and brain performance.

There is a lot more I need to cover regarding mindful movement and eating but I will share it next week along with some neuroscience facts so you can keep going with your day.

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Soothe Your Soul

🖋”Writing is the doorway to our inner wisdom. I call it, soul-journaling because it helps me decipher my most intricate dilemmas while finding peace and contentment despite of the challenges I face.” Lilian Llanos

🌸 I used to recommend journaling as a tool for emotional release and getting clear about the vision of your life. 🌸 Well, I must take part of that back and this is the reason why.

🌸 As I’ve immersed myself in neuroscience research, I’ve found out that the notion that it is healthy to express your negative emotions has been disproved by hundreds of psychological and neurological studies. In fact, the opposite is true, the more you write about a particular event that made you anxious, angry, or depressed, the more you will entrench it into memory.

🌸 So, please, if you’re still journaling about your crappy experiences and beliefs, this is what I suggest you do instead, write only one sentence about the “problem” and then write about all the possible ways you can resolve it. In this way you’ll create an experience that is uplifting and that turns on your problem solving area of your brain, and help you find peace and hope. #innergymaster

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3 Easy Steps to Creating a Personal Mantra

By Guest Writer, Shaylee Ford

What is a mantra?

The word mantra can be broken down into two parts: “man”, which means mind, and “tra”, which means transport or vehicle. A personal mantra can be thought of as a seed for energizing an intention. Getting to the ancient root of it all, mantra, at its core is the basis of all religious traditions, scriptures, and prayers. Today, a mantra is better understood as a repetitive thought to aid in the creation of experience, or to induce deep meditative states. Below are 3 easy steps to create a personal mantra and use it in everyday life.

  1. Decide What it is You Want
    As a mother with young children, it can be challenging at times to find a quiet minute to settle my thoughts and clear my mind, and I am sure even if you don’t have kids you can relate to this. Consciously make an effort without setting an expectation, to sit quietly, clear the mind or meditate and ask yourself: “what do I truly want?”. As the thoughts come you write them down. These things can range from money, a relationship, love, happiness and the list goes on.
    Example: “I want more money.”
  2. Create a Mindful Statement
    When creating a mindful statement or personal mantra, keep in mind that the universe is a genie and the genie always says, “Your wish is my command!”. If we are looking at the statemen “I want more money.”, Genie: “your wish is my command!”. Now you have created the ugly circle of “I want more money.”, which will leave you always wanting more money.
  3. There are two secrets to creating a mindful statement. The first one is the subject of what you want, if you want more money then let money be the subject. Stay away from things likeCreate a Personal Mantra, “I want to be out of debt.”, debt being the subject will only bring you more debt. The second secret is live your statement as if you already have it. For example, the words I AM or I HAVE put you in the place of already being or having what you desire.
    Example: “I am abundant always.”
    “I have abundance always.”
  4. Start Creating!
    In some cultures, it is said that you must sit and meditate for hours, or be alone in nature for an extended period while reciting your personal mantra for it to manifest. This is purely a belief system and like any other belief system it is only true if you chose to believe in it. Putting a personal mantra into action is very simple and very flexible according to what works best for you. You can incorporate your mantra into your thought processes, journaling or even speaking whenever you want to. You may start your day with meditation and reflecting on gratitude, you may recite the words in your mind while you are in the car, or my personal favorite, while I am doing mindless work at my job. Another trigger is replacing any negative thought counterproductive to what it is you wish to create with your safe, productive mantra! In time, you will find that becoming aware of our auto-pilot thoughts that are literally creating your reality will begin to change!

Mantras can be used to change or recreate anything in your life. With a little bit of dedication to self-awareness you can have exactly the life you have always wanted. Remember to reflect daily on the things in your life that truly serve your highest good and pay no mind to the do not. Life is full of experiences, be mindful of the ones you choose!

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QRI Low-Level Laser: Transformation at the Speed of Light

In order to continue offering a whole body-mind-spirit wellness approach, I’ve integrated a new therapy that is backed up by more than 8000 research studies called Quantum Reflex Integration or QRI for short.  Low-level laser (or light) therapy (LLLT)—also known as a cold or soft laser, bio stimulation, or photo bio-modulation, is a therapeutic tool that includes low-level red, violet, and near-Infrared light from lasers or LEDs.

qri harmonic
Doctors, dentists, physical therapists, and other medical professionals use cold laser therapy in a variety of ways. The main uses for cold laser therapy are tissue repair and relief from pain and inflammation. The QRI system also integrates sound frequencies for cellular regeneration. According to Bonnie Brandes, creator of the QRI Harmonic System, “the use of cold laser therapy is growing in traditional medical practice and as complementary or alternative therapy. Under the care of a doctor or qualified practitioner, cold laser therapy is considered safe. Also on the plus side, it’s noninvasive, painless, and there’s no need for medication or other preparation. There are generally no side effects or reported adverse events.”

Below is some information as to how cold laser has been and is being used by various professionals.

Doctors, dentists, physical therapists, and other medical professionals use cold laser therapy in a variety of ways. The main uses for cold laser therapy are tissue repair and relief from pain and inflammation.

Minor Injuries and Sprains
Sports medicine and physical therapy practices use cold laser therapy in the treatment of minor injuries and sprains. It is used to help reduce swelling and promote healing of the joints and soft tissue.

Inflammation
Dentists use cold lasers to treat inflamed tissues in the mouth and to heal ulcerations. Doctors also use it to treat inflammation caused by arthritis and other chronic autoimmune diseases.

Aches and Pains
Pain clinics use it to help people who suffer from chronic pain. Therapeutic massage therapy sometimes involves cold laser therapy.

Skin Rejuvenation
Cold laser therapy is used to promote skin rejuvenation. Dermatologists use it to treat various skin problems such as ulcers, burns, inflammation of the skin (edema), and rashes (dermatitis).”

During the last 6 months, I’ve used the QRI low-level laser system in my “Total Innergy Scan” and the “Stress and Emotional Release” sessions. The first is a comprehensive assessment of the energy flow within your physical, emotional, and mental system to bring you back to balance through Targeted Nutritional and Energetic Intervention. I will share more information about the benefits you will experience during these sessions. In the meantime, please read David’s testimonial below.

Lilian Llanos offers Quantum Reflex Integration sessions at her office, in Ogden, Utah. Contact Lilian by email at lilian@lilianllanos.com, or by phone 267-875-3835 and experience transformation at the speed of light!

 

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How to Practice Self-care

When you think about nurturing yourself, do you ever wonder what are the best ways to do it. Read below and learn how to practice self-care.

“We’ll go to the doctor when we feel flu-ish or a nagging pain. So why don’t we practice self-care and see a health professional when we feel emotional pain: guilt, loss, loneliness?

Too many of us deal with common psychological-health issues on our own, says Guy Winch. But we don’t have to. He makes a compelling case to practice emotional hygiene — taking care of our emotions, our minds, with the same diligence we take care of our bodies.”

Energy Psychology is a mind-body approach that focuses on balancing the bio-energetic system to bring balance at all levels. If you’re ready to lower your stress levels, improve your overall feeling of wellness, there are gentle techniques that can help you achieve your goal.

Lilian is an experienced Energy Psychology practitioner located in Ogden, Utah. She has helped thousand of people worldwide release emotional and physical pain. Schedule a session today, and free yourself from unnecessary burden to start moving forward with ease!

Lilian will also share with you easy-to-implement tips to master and practice self-care.

Call or text 801-941-2947 to schedule a time to relax and recharge yourself!

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Reiki: Restore, Re-balance and Renew

Are you stressed?

Mentally and/or physically exhausted?

Believe it or not, your body is programmed to heal, to nourish and restore itself to wholeness and wellness. But in order to perform these processes it is necessary to deactivate the “fight or flight” mode that daily, physical or mental stress triggers, so your system can focus on restoring the body’s own ability to heal itself.

Reiki is a gentle, alternative therapy that helps you Restore, Re-balance and Renew your MIND – BODY – SOUL harmony.

reiki ngsRecent research supports what Chinese medicine has promoted for thousand years , the correlation between emotions and dis-ease. Unresolved emotions are stored in the physical body causing an array of symptoms ranging from chronic pain, insomnia, headaches, weight issues and hormonal imbalance.

A Reiki treatment works at deeper levels to solve the underlying cause of both, physical and emotional issues instead of masking the symptoms. Several organizations across the nation are offering alternative therapies like Reiki to its employees to reduce health care costs and reduce absenteism while supporting the individual’s wellbeing.

Parker Hannifin, a fortune 250 manufacturing company offer its employees, nationwide, access to holistic care as part of the company’s preventative wellness program. Lilian Llanos is credentialed through NGS CoreSource as Reiki Practitioner to assist clients in overcoming stress and releasing emotional burden.

The Reiki Session

Reiki TreatmentDuring a Reiki session, you will lie down or sit comfortably, fully clothed. The practitioner may keep the hands lightly on or just above body, palms down, using a sequence of 12 to 15 different hand positions. Each position is held for about 2 to 5 minutes, or until the flow of energy is needed. You may experience the energy flow as warmth or tingling as you are also immersed in a deep feeling of calmness.

The number of sessions needed depends on the client’s issues and goals.

To schedule your Session call 267-UPLEVEL

 

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Disclaimer:
As the NCCIH Clearinghouse highlights,

Reiki should not be used to replace conventional care or to postpone seeing a health care provider about a health problem. If you have severe or long-lasting symptoms, see your health care provider. You may have a health problem that needs prompt treatment.

Tell all your health care providers about any complementary health approaches you use. Give them a full picture of what you do to manage your health. This will help ensure coordinated and safe care. For tips about talking with your health care providers about complementary health approaches, see NCCIH’s Time to Talk campaign.

 

“When I scheduled my first Reiki session, it was during the most stressful time of my life. Long story short, it felt like my entire world had turned upside down. Something inside me told me that I deserved to have reiki. And from the first time I met Lilian, I felt drawn to her peaceful energy. During the session, I was so relaxed that I actually fell asleep, and that is NOT normal for me! The best way I can describe the peace I felt is that it felt as though I was being cradled and loved in the arms of my Creator. I believe with all of my heart that this is Lilian’s divine purpose and I thank her for sharing her light with me.”

Jennifer Slaughter Rock Your World Jewelry North Ogden, Utah

“Thank you for helping my first Reiki session to be calming. I wasn’t sure what I was getting into. There are still questions about what happened, but there are no stresses about what happened. The calm feeling I felt was similar to the calm feeling I experience on the temple. After pondering on the experience, I’d say it was like a spiritual massage with physical cues.”

 

David Hill Roy, Utah

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What Is Behind Of Your Fear Of Judgement

dalai-lama-love-judgment

One of our biggest fears is the fear of judgment, but fear of being judged, and our own self-judgement can become the biggest blocks on our road to success.

We must strive to let go of the need to judge people and experiences and categorize them as good or bad, right or wrong. Instead, focus on seeing greatness and perfection on ourselves, and all human beings.

If you could fully embrace the perfect being you are, how more joyful life would be?

What would you dare pursue?

Would you give yourself permission to dream big?

Stop trying to prove yourself worthy!

You’re worth isn’t determined by what you do, or have, but by who you are, a divine child of God.

Every morning, take the time to acknowledge your divine nature. Consider what you can manifest as the powerful co-creator you are, and see your life unfolding perfectly, right now, right here.

You are the creator of your destiny. Start living life without limits!

 

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